Lyrics Page 3

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to DealyPlaza/ The Last Temptation of Christ and me

I've been alive forever and I wrote the very first song

Did a duet with Jesus till them Romans came along

Before they could crucify him, he taught me a thing or two

He took me to a Texas Monster truck rally

and he taught me the art of Kung Fu

Well the lord on the cross, he called to me

and he beckoned me to draw near

He said from his vantage point upon the cross

"I can see your house from up here"

So I downed a 12 pack and I tried to kick back

Then he told me it was time to go

We made our escape to the year 2000

In a hot wired UFO

Well we landed down soth surfing on my buddy's couch

Watching episodes of Raw is War

Been drinking all day he took my Perrier

And turned it into Kendall Jackson Merlot

He filled up my cup and turned the bottle up

He said,"Today's religions lost it's sight."

Stop taking what they offer be your own flying saucer

Buddy don't believe the hype

Last temptation

A mass inebriation

Sugar cubes and LSD

Ain't takin nothing from him

It's just the second coming

And the last temptation

of Christ and me

Domestic Violence Starts At Home

This trailor park

I love it so much

Life is great I married a slut

She really likes me

I can tell

Cause every chance

She tells me to go to hell

Why don't you just shut the fuck up

Don't wanna hear it from you slut

Grab me another beer


Killing the kids

Can't afford them

I can't deal with their shit

What did you hear about the kids

What the fuck they did

Trying to watch the TV

Get the fuck away from me

Don't make me hurt you

Kentucky Fried Humans

Got a part time job down at KFC

Needed to make some cash so I could buy some weed

Showed up stoned for work and the boss said I was fired

So I clubbed him to death with chicken wings and threw him into the deep fryer

Kentucky fried humans

Down at KFC

Kentucky fried humans

Original or extra crispy

The cashier grabbed the phone and tried to call the pork

I threw her in the deep fryer and stabbed her with a spork

I ate her fried vagina with a couple of side dishes

I've eaten that bitche's pussy before, but it was never this delicious

Finger lickin', taste like chicken

Spleens and gizards, on the side

Human nuggets, fill the bucket

Battered women, Kentucky fried

PCP & Me

Waking up with blood on my hands

and her guts spewed on the wall

using every utensil

you know I can afford

Kicking screaming as they drag me

out the living room door

Feeble promises are flying

I won't do it no more

Waking up in the padded room

with my hands in front of my back

Due to the pad on the wall

I don't think I'm comin' back

I'm crazy

I'm fucked up

A lunatic

Locked up

Look at me I'm crazy

Nothin' left to save me

Body parts are flyin'

Everybody's dyin'


Lyrics pg.1

There's Something In My God Module

And as I broke the surface of that river's water

I swear I saw the face of God smilin' down on me

With one dunk from the preacher's hand

My sins absolved, soul purified, I'm ready for the promise land

Right about that time, people this I testify

I seen the light shinin' so bright liftin' me to the sky

I opened up my arms and gazed into the light

In a moment of clarity I realized something wasn't right

All the sudden I'm surrounded by darkness

I could feel something baring into my head

Realized I was lyin' in a prone position

In the middle of a cold steel surgical bed

I saw the dark eyes and the 4 fingered hands

The surgical instruments they held

With a loud bang and a bright flash of light

Numbness was all I felt

Is that you God (I know it's you God)

Are you smiling or are you laughing at me

What did you put into my head

Am I alive and dreaming, or will I wake up dead

When I came to I was lying on the ground

In the middle of a Kansas cornfield

I couldn't figure out how the hell I got there

Or the meaning of the whole ordeal

When I opened my eyes the enlightenment hit me

Aliens and angels are one and the same

And God's my pilot come to take me away

On a phantom heaven cargo plane



All songs written by Scott Waldrop